Burlesque
by Silverblind
Summary: Sherlock and John are on a case that takes them to an unusual place… - Another attempt at humor. Please R&R, tell me how I could improve! Rated T for vague mention of nudity. -One-Shot-


**Summary**: Sherlock and John are on a case that takes them to an unusual place…

**A.N: **THIS IS **NOT **A SONGFIC! Yes, I did put lyrics in there, but too much dialogue would just have been too heavy. This is only as dirty as you mind makes it. If you haven't got a perverted mind… you probably won't understand what I mean… Because yes… Yes I do have a perverted mind. And as I said previously, I only watched Sherlock in French, so I have no idea how the original Sherlock speaks. So sorry if they are a bit OOc in their dialogues.

**P.S**: Burlesque is mostly known for being a literary style, but I am talking about the performances - From Wikipedia: "A later use of the term, particularly in the United States, refers to performances in a variety show format. These were popular from the 1860s to the 1940s, often in cabarets and clubs, as well as theatres, and featured bawdy comedy and female striptease". I took a song from Aguilera's movie Burlesque, because while I don't like her usual music style, I do like Burlesque's-like songs, and this movie's were awesome. =)

**Sorry for the long-ass author note, but I figured I had some things to clear. Now enjoy, and please review!**

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><p><em>A guy what takes his time, I'd go for anytime, I'm a fast movin' gal who likes them slow…<em>

-Sherlock!

-Silence! She'll hear you!

-But I don't even _know_ what we're doing here!

_Got no use for fancy drivin', want to see a guy arrivin' in low…_

-She's the murderer! Look at her nails!

-Wha-

-As soon as she turns her back on us, we get her!

-But, Sherlock, we're in a room full of- oh, good God…

-What… What is she doing?

_I'd be satisfied, electrified, to know a guy what takes his time._

-N-Neo-burlesque is a kind of s-striptease. It is only normal that she-_Bloody Hell! _

_A hurry up affair, I always give the air, wouldn't give any rushin' gent a smile…_

-She's looking this way! Get down!

_I would go for any singer who would condescend to linger a while…_

-Can't we just call Lestra-

-NO!

_What a lullaby would be supplied to have a guy what takes his time._

-I can't see her anymore… what is she doing?

-She's- oh my _GOD!_

-John, breathe.

_A guy what takes his time, I'd go for anytime, a hasty job really spoils a master's touch…_

-We'll never be able to reach her.

-Just trust me.

-I trust you Sherlock but just look at all those pe-

-No I'll… _Damn_.

_I don't like a big commotion I'm a demon for slow motion or such…_

-Ok, I'm… I'm going.

-No, Sherlock, _wait!_

_Why should I deny that I would die to know a guy who takes his time?_

-What are we waiting for?

-…

-John?

-… Well… N-Never mind.

_There isn't any fun in getting something done, if you're rushed when you have to make the grade…_

-Call Lestrade?

-Call Lestrade.

_I can spot an amateur, appreciate a connoisseur in his trade…_

-We could never have done it on our own anyway.

-No, we couldn't have.

-Too many people.

-_Way_ too many people.

_Who would qualify, no alibi, to be the guy who takes his time?_

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><p>Blue and red lights flashed as Marlene Black, the star dancer of the New-Burlesque Bar, was arrested and dragged out of the building. Sherlock and John watched, coats tightened around them to shield them from the harsh, cold wind.<p>

-Well, handsome, I hope you enjoyed the show, the dancer shouted to Sherlock as sat in the police car that awaited her.

The two men watched the door close and the car leave, and stayed silent a few minutes before John spoke.

-so, did you? He asked teasingly.

-Mhh?

-Did you enjoy the show? John said as they walked toward the avenue to call a cab.

-Quite, the detective answered.

-_Quite?_ John repeated incredulously.

-Yes, John, you really need to cut that annoying habit of yours out, the taller man snapped. I said quite. She had a great voice, even I sometimes enjoy a bit of popular music. Plus, the structure of her body made her quite attractive, and any lesser man would have had an erection, for sure.

-Oh, because you… the doctor started.

-I…?

-You didn't? the older man asked after a second of silence.

-No, I didn't. Why? You did? The detective shot back, giving him a quizzical look.

-…No, John answered.

-Of course you did, Sherlock said, rolling his eyes. It's obvious.

-Then why do you _ask_? The doctor hissed.

-Don't you always tell me to _ask_ the question before making my statements? You say it's… what's the word again… Oh, yes, more _polite_.

John shook his head as Sherlock raised his arm, calling a cab.

-Yes, Sherlock, it's more… _polite_.

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><p><strong>So I am not really the most experienced author for writing humor, but I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless. Please review!<strong>


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